Love defined

A client’s comments that her life was ‘very white bread’ got me to thinking. 

A recent weekend for me progressed like so:  after breakfast with a Persian, I went to a Russian wedding where I sat and ate lunch with an Armenian (a former neighbor and friend), a Ukrainian (mother of the groom), and a South African (new acquaintance), and had dinner later with a Palestinian Arab (longtime family friend).  All these experiences were due to my personal connections.  The next day, in a professional relationship, I showed houses to a Saudi…

At the wedding, that of the son of family friends, the MC kept the guests entertained while the bridal couple were having pictures made and transitioning to the reception.   

Of the many jokes made and advice given to the young couple, the most interesting discussion turned to the question, “What is Love?”

The guests and family answered in Russian, so it was Greek to me; but it got me thinking.  What is love?  I do a lot for others, thinking that it’s love.  But, further, a friend’s later comment helped me see that what I thought was love was not always love.  It was often enablement or co-dependency. 

We hear, “A friend loves you just the way you are.”   No… a co-dependent loves you just the way you are.  It allows them to remain just as they are – with you right there in the same boat with them. 

No, a friend loves you as you are, but that’s not all.  A friend loves you through.  Through to the potential of what you could become.  That’s love and it’s not always easy or well received.

Here’s the result of my contemplation on the age-old question:

Love (def) [luhvverb – discovering the righteous need(s) of another, developing the ability to fulfill the righteous need(s), delivering the fulfillment of the righteous need(s).

May we have the wisdom to discern the righteous needs of those around us, the dedication to develop the ability to fulfill that need, and the determination to deliver the fulfillment of the righteous need that they may feel and know true love.  Only then can those we love, themselves love. 

For one cannot give away something one does not possess.  


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